Let me state the obvious; the world is not safe. Each year people are caring less and getting more hostile. For this reason, we have to learn how to defend ourselves. Often we hear news of violence and attacks on women, children, and men. Sometimes oppressors can hide this violence in verbal and sexual harassment are classified as a joke.
Yesterday, a fully conscious man flashed his genitals at me, shaking them in my presence like a cheap fruit. I was disgusted and angry. Unfortunately, the only thing I could do was run.
Many people have faced worse situations, some of which can lead to rape or murder. I was a victim.
These prompted the need to write this article. How can we defend ourselves? How can we defend our sisters and children from such a cold world? What is our first line of defense? What can we do when an attacker is armed, there are multiple attackers, or there is no safe place to run?
In my part of the world, if I am to report such a case to the police, it will be dismissed by the same people who swore to protect us.
A few years ago, I worked as a massage therapist. Part of the job required self-defense training, and I have read books about self-defense. Let me share some of the things I learned about self-defense with you. You never know when the day of the adversary will come.
Run if you can
One of the first things you will learn in any self-defense class is that evading an attack is better than blocking an attack.
After reflecting on the incident of that night, I realized that one of the reasons the man was able to take advantage was because he saw I was alone that night. He identified me as vulnerable. So, try going around with people. There is strength in numbers.
We will not live a life of fear, but we must be aware of how wicked humans are. So if you are in a place alone, don’t be afraid. Instead, let someone know where you are or let them know about where you are going or let someone know your itinerary for the day. And If you are not able to inform people, at least stand in a well-lit area or somewhere with cameras.
Something goes wrong
Many things can go wrong, so it is important to defuse them immediately. The abuser may decide to follow you or become aggressive. Run and scream!
We have strong instincts, and we must trust them. Trusting our instincts is one of the most powerful things we can do now.
So what do you do if the abuser catches up or you do not get a chance to run? My next instinct would be to disgust the abuser. I would urinate, defecate or say I was on my period, all while screaming and shouting. Again some people should be in a psychiatric hospital but are roaming the streets out there; those who fantasize about their victims screaming and fighting, wet and bleeding.
After the night’s incident, I went home calling as many people as I thought cared. People gave me different advice. One of the concerning pieces of advice I got was about taking a picture of the man and showing it to the police. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to take photos or bring my phone out. I was more focused on getting out of the situation as soon as possible. Which I think was the best thing I did. Taking a picture of the abuser might infuriate him, and he might strike or become aggressive.
Many victims blame themselves for the event of the attack. I did too. I was angry with myself for not being able to defend myself or for being in the situation in the first place. I had to take a few days off to reset. I watched reels and TikTok mindlessly to help me forget about what I went through. I couldn’t sleep because I kept on getting flashbacks about the event. The sight of anyone who looked like him infuriated me. I just needed time to get rid of the anger.
Victims should be courageous enough to talk about the events and the flashbacks. Although the world is wicked, some kind-hearted people are willing to listen and give a hand when you need help. Of course, finding a friend to talk to about the events also helps, but if you feel like you are not coping, you can book a session with a psychologist.
You should also sign up for a self-defense class. One of the first things you will learn in any self-defense class is that evading an attack is better than blocking an attack. If you can run, run.
But for him who is joined to all the living, there is hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion. For the living know that they will die, But the dead know nothing, And they have no more reward, For the memory of them is forgotten- Ecclesiastes 9:4-12
MABS 